Jul
4th
Sat
4th
Happy Fourth of July!
Jul
2nd
Thu
2nd
I wrote my first column for The Awl today, called “Hiram S. Thomas, The Troublesome Colored Man of Fort Greene.” The following topics are discussed: real estate, Fort Greene, black people, white people, clergymen, Saratoga Springs, the 1890s, and potato chips.
They named the column “New York City (A look at recent history),” which I think is a very good name.
Jun
30th
Tue
30th
This Is, Without A Doubt, The GREATEST PRESS RELEASE OF ALL TIME
FROM: CharmaineBlakePR@aol.com
TO: CharmaineBlakePR@aol.com
SUBJECT: Media Alert: John Ratzenberger on a DATE with Charmaine Blake NOW
Charmaine blake, the most famous publicist. is dating John Ratzenberger from the hit show “Cheers!”
John Ratzenberger and Charmaine Blake are on a date RIGHT NOW (5:21 PM 6/30) at Wolfgang Puck’s Cut in Beverly Hills. John and Charmaine have just arrived to wine and dine the night away! Wolfgang Puck will be joining the two personally for dinner as well!
ALL MEDIA PRESS COVERAGE WELCOME!
CUT BEVERLY HILLS
Beverly Wilshire, A Four Seasons Hotel
9500 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, California 90212
P: 310-276-8500
F: 310-276-8502
Charmaine Blake
Charmaine PR Firm
Publicist, CEO
Jun
23rd
Tue
23rd
Hmmm… this dog kinda looks like Lee… has she been hanging out in Williamsburg lately??
Jun
21st
Sun
21st
In Which My High Horse Comes With a Keyboard
fek:
Enjoy. I worked hard on it.
Nice.
Related: I got a call today from someone from a professional journalists’ association, asking if I wanted to write a feature for the magazine they’re publishing for their awards dinner in a few months. What did they want to pay me for the privilege? Why, nothing! I explained that I don’t write for free, which the woman on the other end of the line did not seem to appreciate hearing. “Well, we’d feature you prominently in the list of contributors, and we would publish your website’s address, and…”
“I’m sorry, I’m just not in a position where I can write anything for free right now.”
We went back and forth for a little while, me gently but firmly reiterating my position, she attempting to cajole me into writing something, anything, for her organization’s publication. “What if you interviewed some laid-off journalists about what they’re doing now? We just don’t have a budget for this…”
“It doesn’t really matter if it’s a long or short article,” I said. “I can’t write anything for no pay.”
“Well, it’s great that in this economy you have enough work to be able to turn stuff down!” she chirped.
What I wanted to say: Whether I do or I don’t isn’t the issue; the issue is that you are representing an organization FOR JOURNALISTS and you are asking me to WRITE FOR FREE. Do you perhaps not see the irony in that?
What I said: “If your budget situation changes, give me a call.”
In other news, I wrote an article about the Mets for today’s New York Post, for which I will get paid.
Jun
11th
Thu
11th
My mom emailed me after my post about Yodel Cake. Take note:
as i recall, perhaps you should grease the metal mixing bowl so that the sliced yodels don’t stick. you can put in different flavored ice creams. [aunt] gave me the recipe BEGGING me not to tell anyone EVER the secret. she, martha stewartesque, used to put in all different layers of different colored ice creams so that when you sliced it, it was gorgeous.
i appreciate the anti-mix tribute. one of [sister]’s horror stories is my making frosting for her school birthday cupcakes. no ingredients were in the house except cream cheese, so cream cheese frosting (from a cookbook recipe) it was. god forbid i would have gone to the supermarket to buy some prepared frosting.
As a carrot cake devotee, cream cheese frosting sounds pretty good, but I’m sure a six-year-old or however old my sister was at that point didn’t appreciate it.
The website corrupted my homework.
In college I finally had the epiphany that I could ignore alleged “deadlines” simply by emailing my papers to my teachers/TAs but oops! neglecting to attach the file! This never, ever failed.
But here’s an even better way, via Brandon, to dodge those before-5pm-on-Friday-or-else requirements: Corrupted-Files.com. Because, as their website prompts, don’t turn in a “Garbarge” Paper! Send a corrupted file instead!
Didn’t you see the clear instructions on the top of the page to KEEP THIS SITE A SECRET?
Okay kids, here’s what IIII did. I requested extensions for almost every paper I ever wrote. I figured out that teachers respected you more for being a sloppy student, since it seemed like you had a lot going on, then, and teachers—like kids and twenty-somethings and sixty year olds—would rather be friends with someone who cavorted in the high pantheons of “more important things.” You could then strike up a conversation about how you were like, the edtior of two newspapers and took six credits and just would rather write a really strong paper and then they’d like, give you a month. Then you could actually do a really good job. And then, since you’d told them you were so busy, they’d think you were like some genius descended from the angels. Really, you were at Myrtle.
Guess what, everyone. I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but really, professors know exactly what you’re up to. They really do. In my other life I taught history to college students and I heard every excuse known to man. But I had a late paper policy (I think it was 1/3 of a grade down from what you would have gotten for every day late.) that seemed to work pretty well. And if a kid “forgot” to attach their paper to their email and then mysteriously disappeared for three days, then it was pretty easy to figure out what had happened. Also, the whole busy act got old. Everyone at these schools is busy, all the time! Deal with it!
Okay, I’m going back to pretending that part of my life didn’t actually happen, now.
Jun
10th
Wed
10th
Tom Scocca makes Mark Bittman’s brownies for his son’s preschool friends. I heartily recommend them — brownie mix brownies never live up to their appealing looks, and these are just as easy, unless you do not own things like flour. The Baked brownies are also very good and just a little bit less effortless.
These are great brownies. Always a hit at Superbowl and breaking the fast parties.
The Baked brownies are a teensy bit better, it’s true. The problem is, if I recall correctly, that the recipe calls for espresso powder, which usually isn’t something I have around. On the other hand, Bittman’s recipe is genius in its simplicity. Even if you use mediocre baking chocolate they still come out really well.
My mother was always horrified at the notion of cake mixes, brownie mixes, cookie mixes, etc., and so I am still wary of them, even though it really is easier to make certain things, like cupcakes, from a mix, and they almost always come out better. Even though my mom is anti-mix, one of her birthday cake specialties was a sort of horrifyingly un-homemade, yet delicious, creation she called “Yodel cake.” You sliced up a bunch of Yodels and lined a mixing bowl with them. Then you filled the inside of the bowl with ice cream—chocolate or vanilla, usually, or half and half. Then you covered it with Saran wrap and froze it for awhile, and then you took it out of the freezer, flipped it over, and voila! Yodel cake! It was sort of like making a Jello mold, but with Yodels.
This is not a recipe you will find in the Baked cookbook.
